Thursday, November 8, 2007

Decisions... decisions...

I have found that decisions (the important, life changing ones) are so hard to make for me lately. I am doing a lot more praying about things in my life than ever before. I can tell that God is leading our life and I am thankful for that, but... it makes it hard for me to decide if things are happening because I want them to happen, or if things are happening because God wants them to happen. I know that we have had this discussion before in my ladies' bible class, but it is hard to know for yourself, no matter how many times you hear others talk about it.

Anyone who is reading this blog knows that we are adopting. This is a slow process, especially this part of getting it started. We are still waiting to hear from the social worker at CFS about our application and about setting up our individual interviews. I spoke with her last week and she told me that the next thing she needed to do was to set up those interviews, (which a friend of mine told me means that we have been accepted? Yea, maybe!!). She told me to call her by yesterday if I hadn't heard from her yet, because she is so busy with so many other duties at CFS besides just adoption services, that it makes it easy for her to forget what she needs to be doing. So, I waited all week and then I called today... she had left the office early today. :( So, then I begin to question... am I trying to hard to make things happen?? I have been reassured that, YES, Laura is extremely busy with her job at CFS. She is one of the directors over all five areas in Alabama. But, even though she is busy doesn't mean that she won't "bend over backwards" when there is a baby for us. This does make me feel better and I know that things can be happening even when I am not doing anything. I also feel very confident that we will get our baby when God wants us to, no matter what. But, I just want to make sure that God wants us to... hence the whole reason for this post!

Then, there is the issue of our house being up for sale. We put it up for sale in the middle of the summer, then got a realtor towards the end of August. We have only shown it a few times with no luck. Everyone comments on how cute and clean it looks but we haven't found the right person. I think that this delay is actually good and a God-send because we have changed our minds about the house we want to buy next. When we first moved here, Josh was working in Florence, so we bought a house on the west end of town or Clements school district. Now, he is working in Huntsville (totally opposite end of everything). He loves his job and isn't going anywhere, so we are thinking we need to move either into the heart of Athens (city school district), or Madison. This decision has been driving me nuts!! I don't know what to do. I have been praying so much and I can't tell what God would want us to do. I do believe that He cares about the little things in our lives, like this, so it is important to me to know what He would want us to do. If we moved to Madison, then our lives would change a pretty good bit. Josh would be closer to work, it would save us on gas money (which is a huge positive right now!!), and we would be close to just about anything we wanted to do (because Madison is bigger than Athens, with more places to eat, shop, play, etc.) But, if we moved to Madison, then we would be farther from my parents, so mom couldn't keep Lilly as easily and we would be a farther drive from our church home, which would be bad because we would have a longer commute, making Wednesday nights harder, and we aren't changing churches. We love our church!!

Okay... I know I rambled on in the post... but I am confused right now about where life is taking us. I just needed to get it off my chest. Goodness knows, my poor husband is sick of listening to me! Ha!

If anyone has any advice, I welcome it, that is, if my entire post wasn't too confusing!

Thanks y'all!

4 comments:

Tesney said...

It was so good to see you all on Saturday. You are right, sometimes it's hard to decipher God's will. We are praying for you all as you wait on your baby!

Kelley said...

Be still and know.....

that's hard isn't it. It's hard to be still and allow God to handle it. It's during times that I'm most busy and most frustrated that I try and remind myself to just be still and know Him.

I'm not saying I always achieve it, but I try to. I hope He gives points for attempts made!

Rebekah D. said...

You are really moving things in the right direction just by praying about it. I'm thinking back on this crazy year we've had in our family, too, and during the thick of it, it often seemed that nothing was happening or working out and that maybe God wasn't listening. Then so often, everything suddenly falls into place and you think, "Well now, what was I so worried about?"
Hang in there. Just when you feel totally at a loss, things will work together for good. God knows who loves Him.

momx2 said...

I have no advice but I know you will make the right decision...
Hang in there :)